My life has been forever altered by reading Jake Colsen’s book, “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore: An Unexpected Journey.” Most simply said, it’s a book about relationship with Jesus. This is placed in contrast with a religious system that has cropped up and often crowds out walking daily in relationship with him. Some might think the book is anti-church. It’s not, but it definitely promotes of a proper definition of church.
Mr. Colsen uses a fictional story about an associate pastor named Jake whose world is turned upside down after a chance meeting with a man named John. Jake wonders whether this John could be the disciple Jesus loved. His first encounter with Jake was watching him come up to a crowd who was arguing about Christians and ask, “You really have no idea what Jesus was like, do you?” He proceeded to explain to them who Jesus really was, breaking all of their preconceived notions.
Over the course of the next few years, the reader follows Jake’s life journey and is exposed to several major events. These include frustration and disillusionment with the daily grind of “Christian life” as a minister, a falling out with the other staff in his church, moral dilemmas, losing his job, struggling financially, having his daughter nearly die from asthma, confronting an old friend regarding immorality, starting a new house fellowship, and then trying to pass on what he’d learned in all of this to another minister. Throughout all of these experiences, Jake’s encounters served to move him away from a system of religion and deeper into relationship with Jesus Christ. As I read, it had the same affect on me.
The first major event Jake faced was frustration and disillusionment with the daily grind as an associate minister in a large church. His first encounter with John had caused him a greater hunger for the relationship with Christ that John appeared to have. Unable to relieve this nagging hunger, Jake poured himself into his work. The result was disillusionment as volunteers called in to back out of their Sunday morning duties, people came to complain that the church wasn’t friendly enough, a couple informed him they were joining another church which had a better youth group, and finally the pastor cancelled a meeting at the last minute that Jake had worked three weeks to arrange. Under the weight of all of this, Jake went to the park to take a break. There he met John, who asked him, “Are you experiencing God’s life to the degree you desire it?” He went on to talk about being filled with the love of Jesus like the day we first believed in Him. He talked about the fullness, freedom, joy and peace. He then reminded Jake that many people end up distracted by all of the work that they are doing and leave their first love, just like the writer John wrote to the church in Ephesus in Revelation. Jake’s response was, “That’s me!... You are talking about me.” Reading the book, I too found myself saying, “That’s me! You are talking about me.”
As I read on, there were many other experiences that Jake had that I could relate to. Around every corner John was there asking penetrating questions and challenging Jake to consider whether his actions and beliefs were based on truth or tradition. Ultimately he was challenging Jake to not let anything come before Christ in his life. He also demonstrated that many of the things we do in our church and Christian life don’t substantially contribute to your desire to know God more. Even attending church can become a duty and drudgery rather than an outflow of our love for God, the Father.
Even my zeal for God sometimes results in me working so hard for Him, that I’m not abiding in Him. My motives are right, but the outcome isn’t. John even addressed this as he mentioned that even Eve’s motives were right. She succumbed to Satan’s temptation that eating the fruit would make her like God. Eve desiring to be like God wasn’t bad, since He created us in His image. Yet, in our desire to accomplish something that God also wants, we forget that God never intended for us to do anything apart from Him. Jake confesses at one point in the book, “In fact, it seems like the harder I try the emptier and more frustrated I feel.” John’s response is that he’s learned something valuable.
One of the main points of the book is that Jesus didn’t come to abolish the Jewish religion and replace it with a Christian religion, but to give us a relationship. John said, “He wanted his disciples to know that the rules and traditions of men get in the way of the power and life of his Father.” He told John that religion is a system that tries to manipulate and control people so that they do the right things. It largely uses shame, guilt and fear. We ourselves have succumbed to this system and it causes us to do things out of obligation. We feel guilty if we don’t attend church, tithe, volunteer or say, “yes,” when someone asks us to do something. Jesus came to free us from this system, to give us relationship based not on what we’ve done, but on what he did. “The key is not found in how much you love him, but how much he loves you. It begins in him.”
As I read on, I realized that a lot of what I do is based on shame, guilt and fear. I fear that God won’t approve if I don’t do this or that. Alternatively, if I do something I shouldn’t, he won’t approve – maybe He’ll love me less. However, as I meditated on John’s words to Jake, I realized that God loves me fully. He can’t love me any more than He does and He will never love me any less. He is love and He forever proved His love by becoming sin on my behalf and dying on the cross. I don’t need to fear Him for He is fully aware of my sin and still loves me. Still, I allow myself to be sucked into the system of works. Perhaps, it’s because I take my eye off the ball, and perhaps it’s because our Christian religious system has done like Eve and taken something that was born out of a pure motive and missed the mark.
The book definitely touched on how most of our churches exploit shame, guilt and fear to try to lead people to do the right thing. Even the modern emphasis on accountability focuses more on what you do than on how your relationship with Christ is and whether you are believing and trusting Him fully. I bristled at this point as I myself have been a strong proponent of accountability. Yet, I have to admit that often I’ve been guilty in my accountability of promoting this religious system. I ask questions like, “Have you been having a daily quiet time, faithful in tithing, faithful in church attendance, maintaining a pure thought life?” After reading this book, I’m more inclined to ask, “Are you walking in faith, trusting Christ, loving Him with all of your being, resting in Him, abiding in Him, allowing Him to be your all in all?” I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be works, nor do I think the author is. Faith should be the emphasis. Works will naturally flow out of faith. However, works can also be manufactured apart from faith. When we put emphasis on the works, manufactured works are often the ultimate outcome.
When this happens, Christianity becomes self-righteousness. And there’s no freedom in self-righteousness. Only by trusting in what Christ did can anyone really experience freedom. Some people teach that we have to be free of sin to draw near to God. Yet, it’s the actual turning to God that frees us from sin, not the other way around.
The biggest downfall of the book is that some may see it as railing against The Church. Indeed he does make several strong statements against the institution of the Church. One of the problems is the definition of the church. Many people consider church as somewhere you attend or a building or a group. However, people are the church. The writer is not anti-church at all. In fact, towards the end of the book, John meets a pastor who’s starting to understand his own bondage to the religious system and the freedom found in relationship with Christ. He tells him not to leave the institution. The author advocates that the church should be a people who are in relationship with Jesus Christ and naturally fellowship with one another, love one another, encourage one another, teach one another, and challenge one another to continually rely on Christ and nurture relationship with Him. He comments that life doesn’t flow from the church to the people, but people in relationship with Christ bring life to any gathering of believers. If anything he brings a biblical view back to what church is supposed to be.
This book has drastically changed my perspective. My desire for the approval of man has decreased. My focus has returned to my first love, Jesus Christ. I’m not trying to do anything to gain his favor, but am resting in the fact that I’m completely loved by Him and I’m enjoying abiding in Him. I highly encourage you to read this book as I expect it might have a similar affect on your life. If you can’t find the book, at least visit the author’s website www.lifestream.org. There’s you’ll find similar concepts taught in articles, videos, audio teachings and podcasts, which will challenge you to experience a deep relationship with Jesus Christ.
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